Summer Lessons Ch. 3

12. Don't get excited when your child sleeps in until 8:00 one day. It is not a great new summer habit. It is just a fluke and any expectation that it will happen again will only result in great disappointment.

13. The Orkin men are very lonely people. Never schedule them to come to the house when your husband is not home to deal with them and their life stories and their children's life stories and their sons' girlfriends' life stories...

14. Don't get annoyed with people ahead of you in security at the airport because they've been hiding in a cave the last few years and packed all of their liquids incorrectly. You never know, its possible that you leave the house at 4:00 in the morning and grab your regular toothpaste and throw it in your bag with your toothbrush out of habit. The next thing you know, you'll be hearing "who's bag is this?" "I'm going to have to search this bag."

15. No, you can't just go through that new X-ray machine that is all controversial because people say it takes a naked picture of you just because you want to see what it makes you look like. Why not? Because you're pregnant and X-rays are bad for pregnant people. Oh yeah....

16. Checking in for a flight online is the only way to go, so is being able to take everything in a carry on and not having to check a bag.

17. Flight attendants really do not get the appreciation they deserve for above and beyond patience. I would be fired before my first flight ever left the ramp. Quite possibly even arrested.

18. Apparently when they load a couple hundred passengers on the wrong plane, even though you can see the correct plane sitting right next to you, using white out on the paperwork to correct the plane number is not an option. Instead you have to do something that requires sitting on the ramp for a very long time before you are allowed to finally leave.

19. Hearing "I going night night, Mommy." over the phone can reduce you to a sobbing hormonal mess in a heartbeat.